Parallel, But Not Quite
by CrazyClouds
Summary: This is the tale of a handsome, cool, popular, well respected young man... In a different world? How the fuck-? Inspiration from another fanfiction, called "Where All is UpsideDown!", written by advisory177.
1. Chapter 1

Oga Tatsumi woke with a raging headache, which pissed him off. This in turn caused the ache to get worse, and the violent man- more violent than he is man- got even angrier. You can see, dear readers, why this is an issue. Tossing his covers off him, ignoring the way it disturbed the sleeping woman and baby next to him, Oga walked to the bathroom in a search for some aspirin. Alas, it was a futile attempt, for the bottle was nowhere to be found. Slamming his hand against the wall, the young man- more young than he is man- left a hole in the wall and continued on his way. Unbeknownst to the raging teen, the loud noise he made woke most of the inhabitants of the house. Thankfully, Beel stayed asleep. The kid probably would've shocked him half to death if he had woken up. Walking towards the stairs, Oga passed his older sister's room, which opened at that moment.

"Oi, Misaki, you got any aspirin?" he asked the instant she poked her head into the hall. Misaki ignored that, instead focusing on the loud _thump_ which reverberated through the house just moments ago.

"Tatsumi, what was that noise?"

"I hit the wall cuz I was pissed. Now, aspirin. Gimme."

Misaki was, understandably, confused. What had happened to her sweet little brother? He was acting like a lowlife! Then again, maybe it was the headache… Nodding to herself, Misaki turned around and retrieved the aspirin bottle from her dresser. It was that time of the month, so she simply took the pain-relievers into her room to save herself from constantly walking to the bathroom. Holding it out to him, she was shocked yet again when he simply grabbed the bottle and left without a word. Not even a thanks, or any sign of gratitude. Were those delinquents at school finally getting to him? She shuddered at the thought. With his monstrous strength...

Oga, meanwhile, sighed in relief after ingesting the pills. He knew the pain wouldn't subside for a little bit, but at least it _would_. Eventually. Walking back to his room, he barely took notice when the blonde bombshell, Hilda was sitting up in his bed, staring at him.

"Not now, woman. I've got a killer headache, so bitch at me later." The blonde's jaw dropped. Why was her husband speaking so crassly? Was it this headache he spoke of?

...Yes, Hilda decided, it had to be the headache. But how much pain could it possibly be causing, to change his entire demeanor? Such a kind man would never be so rude! She would talk to him later, at a more reasonable hour. Hopefully, he would feel better after some rest. Climbing into bed, Oga waited for the aspirin to work, and for sleep to take him. His brain finally caught up to the situation, and he realized something was off.

"Uh, Hilda, what are you doing here?"

The woman was startled. "I- I'm sleeping, Tatsumi. I always sleep here… Are you okay?"

"Oh. Whatever, ignore it." The man turned around so he was facing the wall, his back to the woman and child. His brain seemed to have completely skipped over the fact that Hilda had called him by his given name. Said demoness was staring at his back anxiously, hoping he would be better by the time the sun rose. Oblivious to the turmoil his actions had caused, the Rampaging Ogre fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

In the morning, Oga woke feeling refreshed. With a sigh of relief, the brawler jumped out of bed, ready to take on the bullshit his school threw at him on a daily basis. Honestly, didn't those guys ever get tired of starting fights with him? It took a special type of stupid to do something so suicidal.

The teen ran through his daily routine- which was interrupted by Hilda cooking breakfast. He refused, remembering the last time he had eaten her cooking. He had been throwing up his guts for hours. Blood had eventually replaced bile… The man shuddered at the memory. He was just about to step out the door, baby-on-board, when he was stopped by a certain blonde. She was… Wearing a school uniform? Specifically, the light gray female uniform of Ishiyama High.

"What are you doing?" he asked. She gave him a strange look.

"I'm going to school with you, Darling. Is there something wrong?"

Alarm bells went off in the Ogre's head. Why was she acting so sweet? Was she gonna murder him later? Had she finally snapped? Then again, her mannerism seemed vaguely familiar…

"Oh, amnesia-Hilda. How the fuck did ya lose your memory again? Ugh, whatever- Beel, do your thing."

Holding the baby out to her, Oga noticed something dreadfully wrong. Beel was wearing clothes! And he wasn't trying to get them off as if his life depended on it. When the baby gave him a blank stare, Oga panicked.

He panicked so hard, in fact, that his brain simply reset. Hilda looked on in concern as steam poured out her husband's ears, and his eyes- which had gone blank moments before- slowly regained their light.

"Ya know what, fuck this. At least I'm not gonna have you on my case about every damned thing- I'm rolling with you for now." Absolutely confused, and slightly scared, Hilda nodded. She quickly walked after Oga as he began on his daily path to school. "I should probably go get that creep, see if he knows what's up…" The poor blonde became even more startled, if that was possible. What creep could her husband be talking about? Deciding to stay quiet, the demoness followed the human, hoping her questions would be answered when Oga met this 'creep'.

* * *

Outside the Furuichi household, Oga texted his white-haired friend, telling him to get his worthless ass outside, just with far stronger words. HIs response was a slipper to the face, courtesy of the bastard himself, who was currently standing in his open doorway. Hilda squeaked when the footwear collided, then became even more panicked when Oga's facial expression stayed the same. Was he broken? Robotically walking over, the Rampaging Ogre stared at his friend of many years, before grabbing said friend and putting him in a chokehold.

"What the fuck was that, huh, Baka-Ichi? Wanna die!?"

"Fuck you, Oga! Don't text me that type of shit first thing in the morning!" With a sigh, the brunet let go of his friend, but not before giving him a decent wallop on the head.

"Whatever. Hilda lost her memory again, and Beel's wearing clothes. I dunno _what_ the fuck is goin on, but it's startin to scare me."

"...Uh, not really seeing the horror…" Furuichi commented.

" _Because_ , Baka-Ichi, it's _weird!_ Remember last time Hilda lost her memory? She became a friggin' housewife!"

The young men took a stroll down memory lane to that experience. Oga shuddered and coughed up a crimson fluid. Furuichi clenched his fist, tears streaming down his face.

"You lucky bastard…" he murmured quietly. Hilda, who had been watching this happen, was now extremely concerned. Why was her husband coughing up blood?

"Tatsumi, do you need to go to the hospital?" Oga, snapped out of his nightmare by the very demon it was about, was understandably rattled.

"N-No, I'll be fine," he said, wiping his mouth with his forearm. "Look, let's just go to school and ignore this whole thing, alright?"

At the blonde's hesitant nod, Oga relaxed slightly. Furuichi, jealous as always, attempted to punch his friend in the shoulder. The blow connected, but didn't even catch the Ogre's attention. The General fell to his knees, staring at his now mangled hand. Oga, meanwhile, continued on his way. Hilda gave her husband's friend a strange look.

"OGA, YOU BASTARD!"

* * *

The trio showed up at Ishiyama High. Furuichi's hand was still broken, and tears continued streaming down the young man's face. Oga did as he normally did; ignoring every single thing in his path. For some reason, the daily mob of delinquents which tried to usurp his place as Ishiyama's King, only to get beat half to death, hadn't shown up yet. Hilda was unsure of what to do. Her usually calm, caring husband had become a violent and crude bastard seemingly overnight. He had hardly talked to her on their morning walk! At this rate, she would have to contact Dr. Forcas, who was skilled in both matters of the physical and mental.

Hilda's worry was quickly cast aside when her rival-in-love, Kunieda Aoi, showed up.

"Hey, _Tatsumi~_ " The Red Tail purred, swaying her hips seductively as she walked up to the object of her affection.

"Sup, Kunieda." he grunted walking past without a second glance. The blue-haired girl was shocked. Usually, Oga was far more courteous with his greetings, sometimes even stopping to give her a little side hug or something- actions which usually infuriated his wife, and were all the more sweeter for it. He hadn't even called her by her given name! Hilda, rather than reveling in the feeling of getting one up on her rival, was curious.

"Dear, don't you think that was rather rude? Not that I'm complaining or anything!" She added on quickly.

The brawler glanced at the blonde, his expression unreadable. "What are you talking about?" He sounded genuinely confused. At this point, Hilda had reached her limit (Which should honestly have happened long ago). She was taking him to get help, even if they had to skip school! Grabbing his hand, which elicited a grunt of surprise from her husband, and a yell of despair from Furuichi, the demoness dragged the human back in the direction of the school gate. "Oi, woman, the fuck are ya doin?"

"We're going to see Dr. Forcas and Lamia! There's something wrong with you, Darling!"

Oga, seeing no way out of it considering the iron grip the woman had on him (and the fact that it was too early to be bitched at by the wet nurse) simply allowed it to happen. He made his displeasure known, however, with a massive, drawn-out sigh.

Furuichi, meanwhile, was too shocked to follow.

"OGA, YOU BASTARD!"

This would become a recurring theme.

* * *

Back at the Oga household, the young man was sat on the couch, watching Rice-Boy with the younger Demon Lord. At least that hadn't changed, unlike some things. Such as the busty demoness pacing around the living room, talking loudly into her phone.

"Forcas-Sensei, you must make haste to the house! Something is wrong with Tatsumi, he's- he's… _He's acting like a delinquent!_ " The worried wife broke into tears, pissing the violent husband off. Several tick marks appeared on his head, surprising the young baby, who could somehow see them.

"WOMAN, STOP TALKIN ABOUT ME LIKE I'M NOT HERE!" This sent said woman into further hysterics, prompting the man to stand up. She began blubbering into the phone. Beel quickly lost interest in them, focusing on his show.

"F-F-F-Forcas-Sensei, he's so angry! Please, come quickly!" she wailed. Oga strode over to her and grabbed the phone, tossing it aside. It hit the carpeted floor with a muffled noise. Hilda began retreating. The Rampaging Ogre followed after the crying demoness until she backed into a wall, and he slammed a hand down on the surface, right next to her head. It cracked easily, his monstrous strength overcoming the durability of the material. Hilda's knees went weak, so she leaned against the broken wall in an attempt to stay upright. It worked, somewhat.

"Alright, listen here, woman. What the fuck is wrong with you, _huh?_ All this damned crying is giving me a headache- you lose your memory again or something?"

The woman gave a pitiful sniffle. "N-Nothing's wrong with me, Tatsumi! And I remember everything!"

"Alright, so how did I get a hold of Beel?"

"You pulled Alaindelon out of the river, and he split open!"

"Who did I first try to pawn the brat off too?"  
"It was Kanzaki-san, and you were simply trying to find the Young Master a better parent!"

"Okay," he growled, "So you _didn't_ lose your memory… Then why the fuck are you crying your eyes out, like some weak woman!?" Hilda had closed her eyes, her head turned to the side in an attempt to gain some distance from the toxic rage.

"What… What else should I do, when the man I fell in love with is being so cruel?"

* * *

 **Cleaned up this chapter. It was surprisingly error-free the first time around, but as they say, there is always something to improve upon.**


	2. Chapter 2

Her voice was small, trembling like the rest of her body. Oga took no notice, though. He was too focused on her words.

"L- _Love!?_ The hell are you talkin' about!?"

"I mean, Tatsumi, that I feel for you like a wife should for her husband! And I thought… I thought you were beginning to feel the same, but now, I'm not so sure..." She trailed off, tears dripping down her face.

Oga was now at a crossroads. DId he handle this like the insensitive prick he usually acted as, or step up as a man would when faced with a crying woman? This Hilda was very sensitive, so being _insensitive_ would likely make matters worse. Plus, it was weird seeing the normally stoic woman so emotional. Deciding on the latter, seeing as it would cause less commotion, the Rampaging Ogre sighed.

"Listen, Hilda, there's something wrong here." He sighed again when she flinched. "Look at me." He waited for her to comply. It took a few seconds, and she wouldn't look him in the eyes, but she at least knew where his face was. "You say _I'm_ acting weird, being all violent and stuff, but for me, _you're_ the one acting weird. The Hilda _I_ know would've stabbed me a thousand times- no, a _million_ times over for talking to her like that. So tell me, what would the Tatsumi you know have done?"

The demoness swallowed back the tears which threatened to choke her.

"Well… he would've never said things like that to me in the first place… but if I was crying, he would have given me a hug, and-" She stopped short, surprise momentarily overcoming her ability to speak as she was crushed to Oga's chest in an almost painful embrace.

"I'll be honest, I have no clue what Tatsumi you know- is he an alien?" He joked, resting his head on top of hers. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry." He murmured into her blonde locks, "Sometimes I just get so angry that I don't really pay attention to the feelings of those around me."

Hilda hesitantly wrapped her arms around his waist, unsure whether the action would set him off again. When it didn't, she grew slightly more bold and buried her head in his solid chest.

"...He would've apologized like that, too" She murmured. Then, feeling slightly playful, she said, "He also would've taken me shopping-!"

"Pause."

Hilda shifted her head to look up at the man she was hugging, and he looked down, resting their foreheads against each other. She was pouting, something which tickled Oga's funny bone.

Chuckling, he said, "Don't underestimate the state of a high-schooler's wallet!" Getting slightly somber, he continued, "Seriously though, if I take you shopping, I might go into debt. I've seen how girls are at the mall..." She saw his eyes go vacant, and felt him shudder violently. For a moment, it seemed as if the normally fearless man was suffering a nightmare, or a flashback of some kind. A memory of what, we shall never know- nor should we want to!

Hilda smiled, her watery joy spreading to Oga, who returned the toothy grin once he regained some life. They stayed like that for a few seconds, before Oga, feeling bold, picked her up. He spun her around in a circle, ignoring the woman's small shriek, then walked over to the couch. He set her down next to Beel, who finally looked away from his show to find out who was now near him. Seeing his pseudo-mother, Beel crawled into her lap, letting out a happy "Dah!"

Oga's smile grew wider, and he sat down next to the two. Hilda leaned her head against his shoulder, and he rested his arm on the top of the couch behind her, completing the picture of a happy family.

Then the doorbell rang.

With a groan, Oga got up. The busty blonde deflated slightly, deciding to distract herself by playing with Beel's rotund cheeks. She puffed her own cheeks out to match him. The child paid it no mind, absorbed as he was in his show. Oga, meanwhile, was stampeded as soon as he opened the door.

"Oga, you bastard! You made Hilda-nee-sama cry! I'll murder you!"

Getting stomped in the face had a certain way of irritating the Rampaging Ogre, and he grabbed the foot the next time it came down.

"GET THE FUCK OFFA ME!" He threw the owner of the foot outside, and they ended up rolling all the way to the house across the street. A look at the attacker revealed it was a woman, with long, pink hair pulled into a braid, and a blob on her head.

Silence reigned for a moment.

"Lamia!? When the fuck did you grow up!?" He turned on the man hiding next to the doorway, who he only just noticed. "And who the fuck are you!?" The man, with shaggy hair, a scar stretching his face and centered on his nose, and wispy facial hair, jumped at being addressed so abruptly.

"I-I'm Dr. Forcas! H-H-Hilda-san called me, Oga-san. She said there was something wrong with you…"

"Well, you heard wrong! Go somewhere, ya damned geezer!" The young man was taken down by a flying dropkick, courtesy of Lamia.

"Oga, what the hell is up with you!? Why are you being such a delinquent!?"

"Ain't nothin up with me, ya fuckin'midget! Now get _off!_ "

He had finally managed to wrestle the taller, but still pretty short, girl into a chokehold and was seconds away from snapping her neck when a hand was laid on his arm. Turning his head, he saw Hilda looking at him, seemingly concerned that he might turn on her. She wasn't used to his violent outbursts just yet. He blinked at her, confused.

"Tatsumi, you shouldn't be so violent towards our guests!" Her apprehension was replaced by steel in her voice.

"C'mon, lemme kill her."

"Absolutely not!"

"The little shit kicked me! Multiple times!"

"She was just overreacting- and you are too! You weren't hurt, were you?"

"...No. But still! Who the hell just comes up in someone's house and kicks 'em!?"

Hilda sighed. She gestured at the arm holding Lamia in a headlock, and he reluctantly let go. The young demoness, who was beginning to turn purple, gasped loudly, drinking in air.

"You! Monster!" Lamia cried between pants.

"Hmph." the young man grunted, turning his head away. He refused to let the pink demon see his unmanly pout.

"Um, why did you call for us, Hilda-san?" Forcas asked, slowly entering the house. The man was very twitchy, scared that Oga would attack him like he had Lamia.

"Ah, Forcas-Sensei! Thank you for coming so soon!" Hilda replied cheerfully. "Tatsumi is acting _very_ strange, and I thought you might know what's wrong with him!"

"Woman, there is nothing _wrong_ with me!" Oga was ignored, since Forcas had gone into Doctor Mode.

"Well, for starters, what do you mean when you say 'strange'?"

"He's started using very crass language all of a sudden, and seems to be extremely violent. He wouldn't normally attack Lamia, even if she did kick him. I'm worried those delinquents at school have finally gotten to him!"

"Hm, sudden personality shift… When did you first see signs of this?"

"It was last night, when he woke up saying he had an intense headache."

"Hmm… Yes, I believe I know what the issue is." Forcas stated confidently. In the background, steam was billowing from Oga's head due to being talked about like he wasn't there.

"Really? What is it then, Sensei?" Hilda asked.

"It seems Oga-san has been a victim of a dimension switch!"

Silence.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT!?" You, dear reader, can guess who shouted _that_.

"It's actually fairly simple," Forcas explained. "This Oga-san does not belong in this dimension, but due to some strange occurrence, has switched places with the Oga-san who actually belongs here. It is a rare, but not undocumented, phenomenon. Unfortunately, in all the cases I've studied or heard of thus far, it is impossible to reverse, even by the most competent Transfer Demon. So, have fun, Other-Dimension-Oga-san!"

With that, the doctor gestured to Lamia, who was still slightly blue, and the two left the Oga residence with haste. They respectfully closed the door behind them. Oga closed his eyes and exhaled loudly, in an attempt to calm down. It failed.

"I'mma fuckin' kill 'em." With that, the Rampaging Ogre marched towards his front door, only to be held back by Hilda wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Tatsumi, wait! It's not their fault!"

"I don't care! They were the messengers, and you always shoot the messenger!"

"That's the complete opposite of the actual saying!"

"It is, but since when did you learn about human sayings!?"

The two struggled for a few more moments, Beel watching curiously, until Oga ran out of steam. Luckily for Hilda, he hadn't tried very hard, or she would've been dangling from his waist while he ran full-tilt down the street. Even if she was a demoness, that man was _strong_. With a sigh- something the man found himself doing much more in recent times- Oga walked back over to the couch and slumped down into the cushions. He rested his elbows on his knees, and his face in his hands. Hilda carefully sat next to him, unsure if she would set him off in his volatile mood.

"This is so seriously fucked up…"

"I-I'm sure it'll be fine, Tatsumi!"

"Hilda… Just be quiet for a bit, and let me mope in peace." Crocodile tears began to pour from the Ogre's eyes, as he started mumbling to himself about _damned blobs_ and _shitty midgets'_

The blonde, confused as all hell, simply let it be. She returned to playing with Beel's chubby face, and the baby returned to his show.

* * *

 **Also cleaned. Maybe I'll add new chapters, maybe I won't. Stay tuned, and find out next time, on DRAGONBALL- ! *Copyright Striked***


	3. Chapter 3

"By the way, what's happened in this dimension? I feel like, with everybody's personalities being different, the things that happened would be different too," Oga muttered to Hilda. The two were still sitting on the couch, Beel watching Rice-Boy.

"Well, a lot has happened… You're going to have to be a bit more specific than that, Tatsumi," Hilda replied.

"Hmm… Have we fought Fuji and Satan yet?" Hilda dropped the cup of tea she had procured at some point between chapters. It shattered against the wood floor, its contents leaking between the boards.

"S-S-S-S-Sat-Sat-Sat-!"

"Woman, what's wrong with you?"

"Satan!?"

The sudden shriek caught Oga off guard, and he stuck a pinky in his ear.

"Yeah, Satan. So I'm guessing that didn't happen here?"

Hilda shakily shook her head.

"Uhh… What about Takamiya and Lucifer?"

"L-L-L-L-Lu-Lu-Lu-!"

"Is this gonna become a recurring theme?" Oga questioned, plugging his ears. If he was right, the next thing that would come was-

"Lucifer!?" Yup, that. Luckily, Oga managed to avoid losing most of his hearing this time.

"Ugh, alright. I'll dial it down a bit… Did I fuck up the 34 Pillars Division?"

"You call that dialing it down!? And no!"

"Jeez, fine. And you said a lot happened here… Alright, did I at least fight Toujou yet?

"...Who?"

"Alright, so not only did I switch dimensions, it seems like I also went back in time… Does that mean I have to do all that shit again!?" The normally cheerful- or stoic, at least- man fell into deep despair.

"Um, Tatsumi, if you've done it before, doesn't that mean it'll be easier?" Hearing Hilda's word of encouragement, Oga perked up.

"You're right! I've already beaten Satan, so the rest of 'em are a bunch of side characters! I'll kill 'em all! Ha!"

"Th- That's nice, Dear…" Hilda muttered, inching away from Oga as he began to cackle maniacally. Suddenly, he turned on her, all previous signs of evil joy wiped from his face. The wet nurse was quite startled, and she hadn't even gotten over her previous shocks about who Oga had fought in the… Past? Whatever. The blonde's poor heart could not take many more surprises.

"I gotta tell Furuichi- I'm pretty sure he switched too. He wasn't all freaked out when I beat his ass, so, yeah. Let's go back to school."

Hilda nodded, simply deciding to go with the flow.

* * *

Back at Ishiyama, Oga was relieved to note that the place didn't seem to change much between dimensions. There was still graffiti all over the walls, more windows were broken than intact, there was a bunch of teeth and blood puddles all over the ground- oh look, there were even a couple people knocked out over there! With a boyish grin on his face, Oga walked through the halls, searching for his best friend. Many of the delinquents were rather freaked out.

Quick psychology lesson; when a human being is faced with something they do not know, they become scared. When scared, two well-known instincts flare up- fight or flight. Being idiots, the other teens chose to 'fight'.

Then they were buried in the wall.

At least, the last few were. Oga accidentally forgot to tone down his strength to account for normal, non-demon-powered humans, and sent a few of them straight through the walls. Where they landed after that was anyone's guess. They were definitely gonna end up in the hospital. If anyone found their bodies, that is.

"Oops. Haven't fought weaklings like this in a while… Ah, they'll live. Probably."

Hilda was walking behind Oga, clutching her bag tightly where it hung from her shoulder, shivering at the dull sound of bones cracking. She was not used to such casual violence- especially not on this magnitude! Her husband had never sent anyone into a wall, or through one in some cases. Not that he couldn't, he just usually only used just enough strength to knock them out, and sometimes not even that much. Other-Dimension Oga had been the epitome of self-restraint. This one… Not so much.

"Um, Darling, is it really necessary to hit them so hard?"

"Hm? What are you talking about? Of course it's fine! How else would they learn not to fuck with me?"

"Maybe you could… Talk to them?"

Oga halted in his stride, causing Hilda to walk into him. She accidentally jostled Beel- who still liked grabbing onto Oga's back- and quickly backed up in case the child woke up and had a fit. When she saw that the baby didn't stir, she stepped a bit closer-

-Then immediately jumped back when Oga turned to face her. His face was so flat, she could have mistaken it for Kunieda's chest.

"Woman, I know your feelings are hurt really easily, and I don't wanna make you cry, but holy shit! Are you friggin' stupid!?" Hilda ignored the slight pang in her heart, instead holding her hands up to defend herself from the emotional barbs. "We are dealing with delinquents and retards here- they're so fucking stupid they don't even understand words, let alone be swayed by them! Remember that, so that the next time you run into a thug, you know to put them in the ground where they belong right away."

The busty blonde closed her eyes and leaned away from the raging brawler, trying desperately to keep tears from spilling down her face. Oga, seeing it despite her efforts, calmed down. This Hilda seemed to be far more emotional than he had initially believed. Things could really get difficult in the near future.

"Ugh. Hilda, don't cry. Seriously, it's bad for your… Image? Well, you're a woman, so I guess some people would expect it out of you…Mental health? No, it's apparently better to not hold everything in…" Oga continued on, too lost in his ramblings to see that the demoness had calmed down, and even seemed slightly amused by his attempt.

She grabbed his left hand, while his right was grasping his chin- a gesture which meant he was thinking- and began to pull him down the hallways. The man followed automatically, still not paying much attention.

"Aha!" Oga cried suddenly, startling Hilda. "Eyes! Crying is bad for your eyes, 'cause they get all red and puffy and irritated, and that's bad!" He seemed very proud of himself for coming to that conclusion, and the blonde found a small amount of joy in his childish glee. Oga noticed when she tugged on his hand, and glanced down at their entwined fingers questioningly.

"Ah, Hilda?"

"Yes, Dear?" The words died on his tongue, as he remembered how she was nearly crying just a few minutes ago.

"You're walking too fast." With that, he softly yanked her backwards, so he wasn't being pulled along like a dog. A man had his pride, you know! Hilda smiled, happy that he hadn't distanced himself. It seemed that Other-Dimension-Tatsumi had a gentle side similar to the Tatsumi that was originally of this dimension, something which immensely relieved Hilda. She had gotten lucky that the switch hadn't been with a truly vile man...

* * *

It seemed she had spoken too soon. Oh well, at least it was for a relatively reasonable reason- one that made her feel all fuzzy inside.

"Bow to me, you trash!" Oga shouted, his foot resting on the neck of a man whose head was currently in the concrete floor. The man's lackeys were groveling, begging desperately for forgiveness. They had attacked Oga a second ago, which normally wouldn't have been an issue. The problem was how loud they were.

It woke Beel up.

Apparently, this Beel didn't really have a grasp on the fact that crying was harmful to those around him. As a result, both Oga and Hilda had been zapped.

Oga was pissed, as he usually would be whenever he was subjected to the high voltage, but that was about it. He scolded Beel a bit and let it be. Hilda, on the other, had apparently not built up that resistance, despite having taken care of Beel for around two years. It seemed he was treated much more gently in the Demon World- and wasn't that a paradox? The woman had started sniffling, and would have soon followed the baby's lead and bawled her eyes out if Oga didn't hug her to comfort her. The blonde calmed down soon enough after that, then the Rampaging Ogre turned his ire on the hoodlums. Taking in a few deep breaths to calm himself, the man turned to the woman, and grasped her hand once more.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked gently. Hilda was a bit thrown off by his sudden switch from brawling brute to caring husband, but accepted it easily enough. She nodded, tightening her grip on his calloused hand, and the two returned to their search for Furuchin- ahem, excuse me. I meant Furuichi. Remember, readers, public exposure is bad, so keep it in your pants!

* * *

They finally found the white-haired teen on the roof, which they hadn't thought to check yet for some reason. He was surrounded by demons who wore the black trench coat of Behemoth's 34 Pillar Divisions, which alarmed Hilda. The busty blonde summoned her parasol in a swirl of black demonic power, and drew the blade in preparation for the fight of her life. She momentarily forgot, in her adrenaline-fueled state, that Oga had come from a future where he had fought Satan and won.

"Tatsumi, you have to take the Young Master and run! These demons are far too much for you to fight at this level!"

He fixed her a blank stare, prompting the demoness to grab him when he made no move to leave. The man shrugged her hand off his arm, and walked toward the group of demons.

"Tatsumi!" Hilda cried. By now, the eyes of the entire Pillar Division- including Crazy Dragon Jabberwock, sweet Demon Lord what was he doing here!?- and fear caused the blonde to freeze. Her sword trembled in her grip, and tears began falling down her face. If they attacked, it was unlikely any of them would survive, and there was no telling what they would do to the Young Master.

Oga paused, just for a moment, to glance back. His gaze was steady, and it calmed Hilda's racing heart. "Relax, woman." His sharp grin filled her with hope, and he jabbed a thumb at himself. "I've got this handled."

"You think a human can handle the full might of 34 Pillar Division? You may be the contractor of Lord Beelzebub the Fourth, but you aren't even a match for me alone," one of the demons proclaimed boldly, stepping forward. He had a shaggy mane of black hair, fins for ears, and a cross-shaped marking on the left side of his face. "Hecadoth, Pillar General- that is the name of the one who will end your pathetic life, arrogant scum."

Oga blinked, then scowled viciously. This was the one who had nearly killed Hilda in his dimension, and had abducted Kunieda to try and force a contract between the two. This bastard had caused so many problems…

"I'm gonna enjoy this," Oga muttered, clenching his fists so hard his knuckles popped. "Woman, take Beel."

Hecadoth summoned his spear in a swirl of black mist, brandishing the weapon fiercely as soon as it was solidly in his grasp. "You dare act like I am beneath you, human?" he growled, sliding forward a bit. None of his commanding officers spoke up to stop him, interested to see the outcome.

"B-But, Tatsumi, without Beel-!"

"Don't worry, Hilda," Oga cut in calmy. "This bastard won't even be able to scratch me." Hilda hesitantly pulled the baby off Oga's back, then retreated to a safe distance. Hecadoth sneered at him.

"How foolish, to give up your only hope at winning."

"You think so?" Oga asked carelessly, arms hanging loosely at his side. "Why don't you come and test that little theory?"

"Gladly." Hecadoth leaped forward and slashed with his spear, weapon in a one-handed grip to extend his reach. The blade swiped through empty air, and the demon's eyes widened. "What the-!?"

"Slow," Oga admonished, standing behind the demon. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets. "C'mon, fish-ears. You're gonna have to do better than that."

"Why you-!" Hecadoth spun and charged again, this time with a jab. Once more, he hit absolutely nothing. Oga stood on the demon's left, and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Man, you really suck. I'm just gonna feel bad if I drag this out anymore," Oga muttered exasperatedly. His voice echoed across the rooftop, but before anyone could scoff at his claim- not that the would, not after his short but overwhelming display- Oga tightened his grip. Hecadoth's knees hit the concrete, his polearm clattering against the cement next to him.

"Agh!" Hecadoth cried, the pained noise ripping itself from his throat before he could stop it. Oga's hand squeezed the joint, hairline fractures spreading from the points where his fingers dug in. A bit more pressure, and Hecadoth's bones turned to dust. The demon roared in anguish, flopping on his side when Oga finally released him. His uninjured hand hovered over his wound, desperate to make the pain stop, but unwilling to aggravate it with his touch. Through sheer willpower, the general managed to push himself into a kneeling position, but no further. "You… Piece of shit…" he seethed, glaring harshly at Oga. The man simply smirked.

Jabberwock stepped forward, the mere shifting of his massive figure causing his subordinates to silence themselves and step out of the way. A few lit up in manic glee, hoping to see the Leader put Oga in place. The Crazy Dragon stalked up to the human, staring down at him.

"Contractor. I am Jabberwock. Leader of Behemoth's 34 Pillar Division. What is your business with us?" he asked rather diplomatically, considering the circumstances, as well as known throughout the Demon World for his explosive temper.

"You guys look about ready to kill my friend," Oga responded, pointing at Furuichi, who was remarkably calm. Then again, it was probably a bit difficult to be scared of these guys when you've both seen demons that far outclass them, and contracted with them to fight against those powerful demons. Comradery, and all that.

Jabberwock seemed confused. "Kill? We are not here to kill him. A mere human would not warrant the full might of the Pillars. Rather, we are here to investigate."

Oga furrowed his eyebrows, then turned on his friend. "Oi! Baka-Ichi! The hell did you do!?"

"Why is that your first conclusion, you asshole!?" Furuichi yelled back. "And I don't know! None of them remember making a contract with me!"

"Right," Oga said, nodding sagely. "It's probably because the two of us are in a new dimension."

"Are you an idiot!?" Furuichi exploded, taking off his shoe and chucking it at Oga's head. The brunet dodged with ease, but the intent was there. "Have you been reading too much manga!? Did Beel's shocks finally turn your brain to mush!?"

"New dimension?" a woman asked. She looked a lot like Lamia, but taller, with a more well-developed body, and longer hair. Oga vaguely remembered her as Laymia. "Forcas-sensei mentioned a recent case of dimension switching, but he said it was the contractor of Lord Beelzebub the Fourth. There was no mention of any friends."

"You- You knew he was from another dimension!?" Hecadoth shouted, forgetting that he was speaking to his superior. "Why didn't you warn me!?" Thankfully, Laymia was merciful, especially given his current state. She merely fixed him with a disapproving stare, and he dropped his head in shame.

"I didn't think it would make much of a difference. From what I've seen of the Contractor, had you fought him before the switch, you likely would've killed him entirely by accident. It would seem I was wrong, though." Laymia turned to Oga. "Tell me, Contractor-san; what has made you so powerful?"

Oga shrugged. "I got into a lotta fights," he said simply. It didn't seem like a good idea to reveal so much, especially after he'd seen Hilda's reaction. Actually, did either of them clean up the tea she'd spilled? He really hoped so, because his mom would kill him for damaging the floorboards.

Laymia caught on to the vagueness of his answer. "Well, I suppose I can't ask you to reveal all your secrets. May I at least ask why your friend seems to have contracts with all 34 of the Pillars?"

"Ask him yourself," Oga said bluntly, gesturing at Furuichi. The white-haired teen stared at him in disbelief.

"I don't know what's going on either!" Furuichi yelled, hands waving wildly. Whatever.

Oga's stomach grumbled. Showing fools their place really worked up an appetite. "Let's go eat," he told Hilda, grabbing her hand. She gladly followed, squeezing his hand to reassure herself that he wasn't a mirage, reveling in how solid he was. Oga ignored Furuichi's fading cries of dismay.

Let that idiot deal with his own bullshit.

* * *

Ooh, a new chapter. These days, that's a novelty for any of my stories lmao.


	4. Chapter 4

Having been best friends since primary school, Furuichi was quite used to Oga's abnormal life. The first time he hung out with the Rampaging Ogre, they ended up in the middle of a gang fight hosted by Oga's older sister, Misaki, alongside the first-gen Red Tails. This, however… This took the cake. Raising the future Demon King, living with a busty gothic blonde, fighting demons strong enough to rip the Demon World apart, all of it paled in comparison to being transported to another dimension in his sleep. And the fact that Furuichi also ended up getting dragged into this mess was simply unacceptable.

"...You're being serious?" Furuichi asked Laymia, who had explained to him the gist of the situation. "I can't go back? _Ever?_ "

"Well…" Judging by her tone, it was bad news. Furuichi was slightly grateful for her hesitance, because it allowed him to raise a hand, cutting her off.

"Nevermind. I think it's better for my sanity if you don't answer. I'm just gonna assume the answer is no."

Laymia nodded. "That would be a safe assumption."

Furuichi's shoulders slumped. "Ah, man. What the hell am I gonna do now?" he muttered, massaging his forehead. "With my luck, the me of this dimension was probably an even worse scumbag than I am, and that's saying something. Goddammit, I don't wanna get murdered for accidentally glancing at someone!"

"Furuichi-san, you are the contractor of the entire 34 Pillars Division," Laymia interjected softly, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "As long as we stand behind you, your opponents will be hard-pressed to truly harm you."

Furuichi grinned weakly at her. "Yeah… I guess as long as I'm not going up against freaks like Satan or Lucifer again, I should be fine." Laymia recoiled, and the assorted Generals and Barons began clambering wildly. They were all silenced when Jabberwock stepped towards the young man.

"You claim that you have fought two of the Seven Deadly Sins?" Jabberwock growled menacingly.

"You _say_ fight, but… It didn't even qualify as a spar. Lucifer ripped my heart out and split my soul, and Satan froze us all to stone in an instant. I… I couldn't lay a finger on him…" Furuichi murmured sadly, clenching his fists at his side. He dropped his head, squeezing his eyes shut, waiting for the demons to ridicule him for even thinking he, Mob-Ichi, could stand a chance in a fight with _anyone._ He was _not_ expecting a massive hand to grasp his shoulder firmly.

"Raise your head, Furuichi-dono," Jabberwock boomed. "You need not be ashamed. You are beyond courageous, to have dared oppose two former Demon Kings. Many demons would have turned tail and ran, saying nothing of any humans unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire. Any who fight the enemies of the Great Demon Lord, Beelzebub the Third, can be considered a friend of the Pillars Division. Our allegiance is yours."

Furuichi's lips curled up in the phantom of a smile. "...Thanks. I think I really needed to hear that." Jabberwock nodded.

"It is time for us to return to the Demon World- we've lingered long enough. Our contracts are open to you, Furuichi-dono. Use them well." A black portal opened, one that Furuichi recognized as being Yolda's, and the Pillars stepped through. Laymia, the last one to leave, waved at him. Furuichi waved back. The teen walked over to the railing lining the roof, leaning up against it and staring at the city in the distance. Wind rustled his silver hair, and despite the circumstances, Furuichi simply allowed himself to _breathe_.

His moment of peace ended when the rooftop entrance doors slid open. Furuichi glanced over, sighing when he recognized the scarlet hair of Oomori Nene. Alongside her were Tanimura Chiaki and Asuka Ryoko, her usual entourage. Furuichi turned back to the railing, waiting for them to rain hell on him in the form of sharp insults. Or maybe a few good punches, depending on their mood.

' _Wonder what they're gonna come up with today. Honestly, I doubt anything can top Furuchin- damn that Satura!'_

For the nth time that day, he was surprised. This time, it was because all three girls wrapping their arms around him in a warm embrace. Furuichi's brain short-circuited. Unlike Oga, however, he actually had something resembling intelligence, so he was able to snap back fairly quickly. Still, that didn't mean he was any less confused about this situation.

' _Are they trying to be extra nice so that it hurts more when they crush me later?'_ Grimacing, Furuichi ignored the knee-jerk reaction to return their hugs, sure that they would take him laying hands on them as an excuse to beat him up for sexual harassment.

"Uh, g-good morning, girls," Furuichi said nonchalantly, trying to quell the fear rising up his throat. Jabberwock might've allowed him to keep the contracts, but the teen wasn't gonna use them for something like this. That was just plain disrespectful, and if the Pillars Division decided he wasn't worthy of being contracted to as a result…

The girls pulled back, but Nene kept her hands on his arms, holding him in place to examine him. Furuichi tried to fight back a flush, but failed, if his burning face was any indication. Nene tilted her head quizzically.

"Taka, are you alright?"

' _Taka? Why the hell is she using a shortened version of my given name!?'_

"Uh, wh-what do you mean? I feel fine," Furuichi lied. The back of his neck was starting to sweat.

"Really?" Nene asked skeptically. "You didn't even give me a good morning kiss, though…" A sly smirk flitted across her lips. "Oh, are you just playing hard-to-get again? Well, I _suppose_ I can indulge you," she said with a put-upon sigh. She stepped closer to him, craning her neck. Her lips were mere millimeters away from brushing against his, when Furuichi caught her by the shoulders. "Eh?"

"Ah, uh, that might not be the best idea. I'm kinda coming down with something, and I dunno if it's contagious," Furuichi said, rubbing at his throat. He turned his head and faked a few small coughs.

"But, you said you were fine?"

"Er, I meant fine enough that I can come to school without worrying too much. I might have to stay home tomorrow, though."

Nene brightened at his reasoning. "Man, Taka, you really are too considerate. I don't think any other guy would resist a kiss just because he's barely sick."

Meanwhile, Furuichi was discretely wiping a bead of sweat off his forehead, playing it off as adjusting his bangs. ' _That was close! Even as a test, isn't this taking it too far, Nene-san!? Jeez, they must really want me to dig my own grave! If I'd actually kissed her…!'_ An image flashed in Furuichi's head, of Kunieda standing above his beaten down form, bokken pointing at his head. The kanji for _Die, scum!_ hovered behind her. Furuichi shivered. He chuckled nervously.

"Well, you know, it just wouldn't do if I ended up dragging everyone down with me 'cause I wanted to be a little selfish. That said, you girls probably shouldn't stick so close to me." The three took a collective step back, and Furuichi finally allowed himself to relax, slumping backwards against the railing. He pressed two fingers to his right temple, feeling a headache coming on.

' _Wait, I forgot! This is a different dimension! Maybe this is actually for real! ...Who am I kidding? Even if it's a parallel universe, they probably still hate me. It looks like they're just a lot crueler here. Go figure.'_

The rooftop access door slip open again, and this time, Oga walked out, munching on a yakiniku bun from the cafeteria. A clothed Beel was sleeping on the back of his head. Hilda trailed close behind, and when they both stepped fully into the afternoon sunlight, Furuichi noticed something; they were holding hands.

' _For some reason… That_ really _pisses me off.'_

"That troublesome son of mine told me about the contracts, but I didn't expect to be called out so soon," a raspy voice muttered wryly. Furuichi glanced over his shoulder, and locked gazes with Behemoth. The old man winked at him. Furuichi ignored it, gently shoving past Nene. Oga noticed the demon as well, handing his lunch and Beel to Hilda, who took them with shaking hands.

"Taka…?" Nene asked, trying to grab him by the cuff of his sleeves. He moved out of her reach far too quickly, though, leaving her fingers grasping at empty air. The two men met in the center of the roof, simply staring at each other for a tense, drawn-out moment. Then, Furuichi punched Oga in the face.

Not moving an inch, Oga returned the favor with a slug to the gut, forcing the air out of Furuichi's lungs. The silver-haired teen doubled over, leaving him exposed to the knee to the face that shattered his nose in a spray of blood, the force of the blow snapping him into a standing position. Furuichi caught the next blow, an uppercut, tugging Oga towards him and smashing their foreheads together. While Oga was reeling back, Furuichi lunged forward, slamming his fist into Oga's face, sending the Rampaging Ogre flying across the rooftop with such force that he bounced, colliding with the rooftop access stairwell, smashing through the wall.

Furuichi ignored the startled cries of the girls, walking toward the cloud of dust, which cleared out by the time he arrived. Oga was standing tall, grinning at him, blood pouring down his face in a mirror of Furuichi's.

"I did that to that prick Alex from the Six Holy Knights. Were you watching?" Oga asked, wiping the back of his fist across his smirking mouth.

"I've seen all of your fights, Oga. You know I'm always one step behind you."

"Then you know that even the old man can't help you beat me."

"I do. Doesn't mean I'm gonna stop."

"Good."

They punched each other in the face simultaneously. This time, Furuichi was the one to go flying. Oga chased, grabbing him by the ankle mid-air, and slamming him into the ground. When he let go, Furuichi pushed off the floor with his hands, lashing out with a spinning roundhouse kick that clipped Oga's jaw, followed by a mule-kick to Oga's exposed stomach, making the brunet double over. Grabbing the back of Oga's lowered head, Furuihi rammed his knee against his face three times in quick succession, then clocked him in the temple with a heavy haymaker. Oga stumbled to the side a few steps, but recovered quickly. He caught the next kick, driving his elbow into Furuichi's thigh, and pushed the silver-haired teen back. Unsteady, he almost fell over, but caught himself in time to tilt sideways, narrowly dodging Oga's powerful fist. Furuichi grabbed the extended arm, shoving it to the side to unbalance Oga, then swiping the brunet's feet out from underneath him with a well-timed leg sweep.

When Oga's side smacked into the concrete, Furuichi kicked him harshly in the stomach. He pulled back for a second kick, but found himself unable to move. Glancing down, he saw the reason; Oga had caught his ankle in an iron grip. The downed teen was staring up at him with an evil grin that promised retribution, but Furuichi wasn't going to be cowed. He dropped, knees digging sharply into Oga's stomach, making the brunet cough up spittle. Furuichi rotated, straddling Oga's torso, then began mercilessly wailing on his friend's face. One blow became two became three, and soon the sound of fist meeting face was the only one that echoed across the rooftop.

It might have been seconds or minutes, but eventually, Furuichi twitched halfway through a punch. His knuckles fractured cement, and he rested his hand there for a moment, simply staring down at Oga's battered visage. The Rampaging Ogre was still looking at him calmly, gaze unwavering despite the bruises covering his cheeks. Furuichi sighed, and rolled off Oga, laying next to the brunet. Neither moved, content to lay on the concrete and look up at the afternoon sky. On the sidelines, a crowd had gathered, but they went unnoticed.

"Done?" Oga asked in his usual brusque tone, gasping the barest amount.

"Done," Furuichi confirmed, breathing a little heavy. He nodded, despite knowing that Oga wouldn't see it. Behemoth vanished without a word, his job complete. The old man faded away with a smile under his white beard, hands clasped behind his back as always, staring out into the horizon.

"It's not fair," Furuichi muttered. "Even in a different dimension, they still hate me. You get to act all lovey-dovey with Hilda, but I have to deal with these stupidly complicated plots to hurt me as much as possible."

"You ever thought that maybe they actually like you?" Oga asked, without inflection, without judgement.

"That's a joke, right? Even after I fought you the first time around, with the tissue-contracts, they still kept calling me those stupid names, like Mob-Ichi, or Creep-Ichi, or sometimes just trash. Even after Lucifer stabbed a hole in my chest, even after Satan… It's impossible for them to like me, I think, regardless of which universe we're in."

"I thought that, too," Oga said, surprising Furuichi. "I used to think nobody would ever wanna hang around me, because I was always causing trouble and dragging everyone down with me. Then, I met you. A scrawny little idiot, who wouldn't stop getting in the way, and really wanted to walk home together for some reason. You were the first person to not stand behind me as some bastard that was always talking shit, or in front of me as someone I had to beat the hell out of, but beside me. As a friend. Remember, though, Furuichi. Just because you were my first friend, doesn't mean I haven't made other friends since. It's the exact same for you." Oga waved his hand at the group of Red Tails, led by Nene, who finally rushed forward and kneeled around Furuichi.

"Taka, what the hell!? Since when were you that strong!? And why would you fight Oga!?" She tugged him up, slinging his arm around her shoulders. For a moment, Furuichi simply looked at her. There wasn't a hint of malice on her face, no joy at seeing him in this horrible state. Just pure, unadulterated concern. Furuichi started laughing, and wrapped both arms around Nene, drawing her into a hug. Flustered, the redhead returned the embrace. "Jeez, Takayuki, you can't just do something like that out of nowhere!" she cried, burying her face in his chest. "...I was really worried."

Furuichi nuzzled his cheek against her scarlet hair. "Sorry for making you worry, Nene. Oga and I just needed to have a _talk_ , that's all."

Nene was a student of Ishiyama High, a delinquent through and through. She understood exactly what Furuichi meant. She didn't like it, but she understood. She pulled back to glare up at him, but his beaming grin softened her edges, and she smiled back at him. Then, she puffed her cheeks up in a pout, and pinched his side, wrenching the flesh between his fingers.

"Ow! Ow ow ow!" Furuichi cried, too tired to properly squirm out her reach.

"You're taking me shopping to make up for scaring me so bad!" Nene declared. She finally let go, and the silver-haired teen rubbed his abused stomach. He was still smiling, though, and the redhead practically melted. "Jeez…" she muttered, tugging Furuichi along. "Let's get you to the nurse's office. If you're good, I might… Do the _thing._ " She blushed, her face turning the same shade as her hair, and she turned her head away from Furuichi, too embarrassed to look at him. The young man was confused, but decided not to ask. His mind was too occupied with a single lingering thought.

' _Maybe this place isn't as bad as I thought…'_

* * *

 **Yah yeet.**


End file.
